Coach - shed light on personal growth

Eight years ago, I "met" my very first coach Betty before I even knew what exactly is a coach and what a coach does. It all started with a lingering question "how can I make a change in my life and work?" 

It was approaching my 7th year working in the industrial consulting firm. I worked a lot with constant 996 and I had no life. I wanted a change, a big one. However, the always busy work spun me around, leaving no space or energy to turn to a different direction. I shared my struggles with my HR friend who recommended her peer coach Betty to me and I said yes to the new experience. 

My very first question with Betty was "I felt too stuck and exhausted to start preparing GMAT which is mandatory for MBA application. How can I make physical energy available to start it?" Instead of answers, she engaged me with good questions - what I'm good at? what can I apply in this context?" Soon I started to work on my own questions with what is already within me. That is coaching, which believes what all I need is already within me, and a coach simply serves as a partner who helps clarify what I need, what I know, and learn from my own knowing to get what I need. Six months later, I was admitted to CEIBS and started my new journey in Shanghai.

What Betty did was beyond supporting me from A to B. Coaching with Betty transformed me. She connected with the essence of me which I lost connection with over the years of struggling carried into adulthood. She held a loving space for my healing from childhood trauma. She supported me to rediscover my inner power and wisdom. I shred away the conditioned self concept and become really comfortable of being who I am.

Magically, in the approximate 3 years' coaching journey, Betty and I never physically met each other with her living in Melbourne Australia and me in Beijing-Shanghai China. This geographic difference, however, didn't sabotage our coaching relationship. Betty always radiates unconditional love and full acceptance, which grounds my healing and transformation in our coaching space. 

Thanks to Betty, I have been able to ground my core in the tough corporate world and stick to my values when the power in positions try to shake them up. Today, I'm ready to say yes to become a coach and commit to this transformational journey. I'm ready to ground others in my future workplace as well as in my life.  

I believe the next chapter "when the coach becomes the leader......" will unfold and guide me through this continuously evolving journey. 

PS: In 2017 Betty and I finally met each other face-to-face for the first time in 3 years. Her loving presence always shed light on my personal growth 

Supplementary:

How is coaching distinct from other service professions?

Professional coaching focuses on setting goals, creating outcomes and managing personal change. Sometimes it’s helpful to understand coaching by distinguishing it from other personal or organizational support professions.

• Therapy: Therapy deals with healing pain, dysfunction and conflict within an individual or in relationships. The focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past that hamper an individual’s emotional functioning in the present, improving overall psychological functioning, and dealing with the present in more emotionally healthy ways.

  Coaching, on the other hand, supports personal and professional growth based on self-initiated change in pursuit of specific actionable outcomes. Coaching is future-focused, and the coaching relationship emphasizes action, accountability and follow-through.

• Consulting: Individuals or organizations retain consultants for their expertise. While consulting approaches vary widely, the assumption is the consultant will diagnose problems and prescribe and, sometimes, implement solutions.

  With coaching, the assumption is that individuals or teams are capable of generating their own solutions, with the coach supplying supportive, discovery-based approaches and frameworks.

• Mentoring: A mentor is an expert who provides wisdom and guidance based on his or her own experience. Mentoring may include advising, counseling and coaching.

  The coaching process does not include advising or counseling, and focuses instead on individuals or groups setting and reaching their own objectives.

• Training: Training programs are based on objectives set out by the trainer or instructor. Though objectives are clarified in the coaching process, they are set by the individual or team being coached, with guidance provided by the coach. Training also assumes a linear learning path that coincides with an established curriculum. Coaching is less linear, without a set curriculum.

• Athletic Development: Though sports metaphors are often used, professional coaching is different from sports coaching. The athletic coach is often seen as an expert who guides and directs the behavior of individuals or teams based on his or her greater experience and knowledge.

  Professional coaches possess these qualities, but their experience and knowledge of the individual or team determines the direction. Additionally, professional coaching does not focus on behaviors that are being executed poorly or incorrectly. Instead, the focus is on identifying opportunity for development based on individual strengths and capabilities.

• Coaching: as partnering with clients (coachee) in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership. We all have goals we want to reach, challenges we're striving to overcome and times when we feel stuck. Partnering with a coach can change your life, setting you on a path to greater personal and professional fulfillment. 

source: International Coach Federation

Red Akers

Nov 23, 2021